"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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