No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
