I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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