i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
