just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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