Moan for me like Helen Keller
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
