On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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