Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
