We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Pants are for mortals
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
