My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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