so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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