he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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