how do flat chested girls get laid?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
