omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
