I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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