you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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