Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
