My cat gives me a boner
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
should my penis look like a turkey
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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