I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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