is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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