So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
