Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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