Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
