I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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