her vagine was all disorganized.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
