Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
