My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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