Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
