I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize