maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
