just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
