Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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