I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
