I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize