I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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