I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Farmville is her only friend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dick very happy bro
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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