We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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