I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
