if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
