that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
