Say something about gay babies.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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