I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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