just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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