This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
