just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
this hospital has no fireball
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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