he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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