no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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