I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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