everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
