Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
