would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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