Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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