Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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