I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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