It's like God shit irony all over that family
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
