I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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