The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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