I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
