Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize