yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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