My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
