So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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