her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
