Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
