i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
