to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
