Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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