he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
