I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
