let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
where are my eyebrows?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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